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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Mustapha Mond's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, December 13th, 2005
9:52 am
Wow. I feel sober... and happy. At the same time! What the fuck! I didn't think I could still do that!

For someone with so much nothing to do, I'm hella-busy lately. I quit my swanky office job 2 months ago, in case anyone was wondering, so I'm pretty much flat broke. This in turn lead to me stopping all the rampant partying and debauchery, as I don't like being a debtor, even though everyone else seems to be ok with it. That's the trouble with being known as a "really nice guy", people just let you slide. It's hard not to take advantage of it. I drank a hundred dollars worth of booze at C-bon last time I was there (actually more like 150-200, I think. But they're good guys) and I still haven't been able to pay them back. They might just hire me instead of breaking my legs though, which I totally appreciate. Being 7 feet tall allows you a few occupations that aren't obviously available to Joe Q Public.

I've got a new machine coming (TODAY!) , so I can get back to my video editing projects, and finally work on my personal site so I can be all fancy and internet pseudo-famous again. Yeehaw. My friend Jim Blake just had a baby, congrats you fuck. Kid already has a site (http://www.connorblake.com), while mine is on hiatus. This new generation is screwy.

And... I just turned 24 this morning, and it's just about as fun as it looks. Tuesday of all days. Ugh.

N - Yes M, this one is for you.
Monday, December 5th, 2005
7:34 am
I am I am I said I'm not myself
Neither dead nor for sale. It seems that I can't reconnect with the Oro I've been looking for unless I'm heavily medicated. That's a problem.

Today I'm gambling heavy on my career, which ends up meaning my future I suppose. If I don't look directly, I suppose it'll turn out ok. Always worked for Wiley Coyote.

Tuesday, May 31st, 2005
10:19 pm
Deconstructing Oro

Oh no.

I just realized that I'm a Deconstructionist. A big one.

I'm going to discuss it with my older, whiter, co-worker clone tomorrow, as he's less attractive than I am so he's had more time to get smart and whatnot. I don't think this bodes well, it kind of destroys most if not all of who I am.

I think I'll start making my own canned preserves and playing the viola again or something. Ugg, I'm bored and confused. I think I'm honestly getting dumber, too.

Friday, May 27th, 2005
7:59 am
I met a girl tonight who's too short but I like her anyway. Like, really short. Cute short. Fucking A. She's beautiful though. And I don't know why she digs me, but she does. I suppose that's the badger.

I would be really happy if I wasn't so blah all the time. I also think I forgot to give her my phone number. I honestly can't remember. ARRR.

N - Finally an update. You're welcome, Bozinahum.
Monday, August 16th, 2004
4:52 pm
Just for the Bozzin
I've been too busy to update very much at all (which is funny, because when you have really interesting things to put in you can't because you're out doing them), but I promised a certain special someone that I would put some things in. So I'll just post a quick digest until I have time to further flesh out the whole ordeal. I solemnly swear I shall be much more forthcoming about said events in the near future, I'm just mind-bogglingly distracted at the moment.

Coming Soon:

How I almost got married, and then I sobered up
How I played gigolo to a(n alleged) exotic dancer
How I got uber drunk in various places and completely bypass dress codes by sheer Oroness alone!
And so much more!

Tune in next time, same Bat-Time, same Bat-Channel, and wear your booties 'cause it's COLD outside.

Current Mood: contemplative
Monday, June 21st, 2004
2:43 am
Don't Mug Yourself
Because the *expletive laden noun-string* refuses to understand why we can no longer be friends, I have assembled a CD of songs that explain how I feel.

The Streets – Could Well Be In
Tool – Stinkfist
Nirvana – About a Girl
Alanis Morissette – Head Over Feet
Counting Crows – Angels of the Silences
L’arc En Ciel – Winter/Fall
Smashing Pumpkins – Fuck You (An Ode to No One)
Violent Femmes – Promise
Rolling Stones – You Can’t Always Get What You Want
NIN- Perfect Drug
Offspring – Self Esteem
The Cure – Love Song
Kuroyume – Nite&Day
Al Green – Let’s Stay Together
The Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Modern Romance / The Streets – Dry Your Eyes

The last song I can't decide on. It could really go either way. If you know both of those songs, then you know what I mean.

N - This is fucked.

Current Mood: depressed
Sunday, June 20th, 2004
9:44 pm
Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it oepns up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.

I met a girl who may well have been my soulmate. We have so many things in common it's frightening. And just enough things that clash to keep us interesting.

In the course of a week I somehow convinced her to fall in love with me and then that we can't be together. I will not be ok.

Friday, May 21st, 2004
1:08 pm

I've always loved this picture. I might comission a painting of it. Really.

I've instructed my mother on how to perform a workaround for a memory leak type problem she has on her machine 3 or 4 times now. It's not complicated, you just close one of the processes in task manager. It's like two steps, seriously. But she refuses to understand.

I'll be the first to say it: I'm contemptuous of the stupid. Why does she even need a computer if she won't ever learn to use it properly? My aunt is the same way. I'm upset to be related to these morons.


Current Mood: lazy
Thursday, May 20th, 2004
11:51 pm
I don't think I can stop
775069089 When i was 17 me and my best friend at that time decided to see what it would be like to pash another girl so we tried it, we got so into it we ended up licking each other out, her mum walked in and told us that we were bad, they moved away becuase of it i hope the girl reads this and comes back to me, i've never done it with another girl since.

This one really broke my heart. Seriously, if I wasn't a robot I'd cry. I hope they see each other again.

Wednesday, May 19th, 2004
3:45 am
Sometimes I Love The Internet
My name is J. Im from Australia.
I sit at work all day and play games.

I love my girlfriend.

I want to do better.

I've been semi-addicted to http://www.grouphug.us lately. There's something beautiful about the way the internet is completely anonymous, so while it makes a lot of people complete idiots (see also: any forum ever), it also allows things like this. How very cathartic it must be to be able to spill yourself to potentially millions of people without having to show your face. Some of it's undoubtedly bullshit, but seriously, I really believe for the most part. People are fucked up, yours truly included. There are things I wouldn't tell ANYONE I know, no matter what, that I feel better spouting off on grouphug.

Try it. It might help.


Current Mood: relieved
Monday, May 10th, 2004
6:49 pm
Usher is the shit.

That negro does not pass up an opportunity to check out the merchandise, even on national television. Write that down, jigs. PRIORITIZE.


Current Mood: Awed
5:06 am
Sometimes Tyler talked for me
This morning at about 2 I decided to let my dogs in. So I walk to the back and open the door, and they come streaming in. Then I think "Well crap, they might get thirsty" so I walk outside in the dark and pick up their water dish. While I'm walking back up the steps to get in, I somehow tripped over the last one (which I literally never do, my balance is pretty spectacular. I dunno what the fuck happened), dropped the dish (and water) on the kitchen table and slammed my face into the side of the door.

Now I have a gash in the side of my face. Like, enough to see the meat inside. I'm not sure if it makes me look manlier or not yet, I'm mostly concerned with if I need to glue/tape it shut or throw a maggot in it to keep it from healing "open" and leaving a crack in the side of my face.

I think the moral of the story is pretty apparent. Leave the fucking dogs outside.

Current Mood: annoyed
Friday, May 7th, 2004
1:04 am
The secret (we're ever so fond of those) is not to find something you enjoy and make it your career. That's Omega thinking, you've alcohol in your tube. You have to sell your cast off skins in order to finance your real life. If you don't know why you have your resources, you're doing just fine. Keep dancing.
12:50 am
I don't like new people any more. It's too much work.

When you meet new people, they don't know what the fuck is going on and you have to fill them in on every nuance of the bollocks going on in your dosh pit for years. It takes FOREVER. Bugger that, I'd really rather just take old friends and toss a coat of shellack on them. Old girlfriends too. It's too complicated to explain who you are to someone who hasn't been around. I don't feel like it anymore.

So if you don't know me already, the hell with you. No new applicants. Fuck you and the person standing next to you.
Monday, May 3rd, 2004
2:34 am
Fjabben is my new religion
As random as the internet is, sometimes things are pure kismet. Through a random link someone on SRK threw out, I have found the woman I want to marry. Behold: http://www.carmacowboys.dk/movies/fjabbenild.wmv

See, this is the sort of girl you just saddle up and never let go. You can tell she's great to be around, because though she's obviously pretty goldarn hot, the umpteen males in her friend circle think "Hey, this girl likes to be naked and is obviously down for WHATEVER. What can we do... LET'S SET HER ON FIRE!" I'll reiterate, the Dutch are fucked up. And, for some strange reason, I'd step over my own mother to get at this particular one. Unf unf unf, Fjabben is the future.

So Fjabben, if fortune swings like a pendulum do and you happen out this way, you feel free to give me a holler. Some things are just meant to be, lovey.


Current Mood: enthralled
Tuesday, April 20th, 2004
3:00 pm
So. Last night, I was skulking around on the internet, and someone sent me a link to this: http://www.collegehumor.com/?movie_id=49721

The page that it comes from has a bunch of links to random sites of the day at the bottom (shades of classic CJ, RIP) so naturally as it's 4 in the morning I started poking around at the more interesting looking ones. "Interesting" is code for "nudity". Write that down.

I happened upon this site: http://www.ratemybody.com

Now, I've seen stuff like this before, I'm sure we all have. A bunch of random girls (and guys, but who looks at that shit?) whoring it up for their webcams, in order to get imaginary votes from a bunch of internet mokes. You know, like me. After sifting through the first ten pages or so (you know, just for research purposes), I came to a realization. All of these girls are from Bumfuck Idaho. All of them. No one's from Los Angeles (represent!), or New York, or Chicago, or DC, no major cities whatsoever. And it all started to click.

Admittedly, these girls are generally quite striking, some of them genuinely hot (for being from Flyover Country, of course). If they were in LA, they'd be out coked up at Skybar or Saddle Ranch or some other Hollywood/Sunset trend-hole getting picked up by lawyers taking a weekday vacation from their wives. But since they live out in Backwater County, they have nothing even resembling this to reassure themselves that they are, in fact, hot, and worth something. Sure, Joe Quarterback and Jimmy Farmboy pay them attention, but that's not nearly the same thing. They're simply victims of environment. If they lived ANYWHERE worth a damn they could be living the high life as strippers, call-girls, masseuses, single-moms, trophy wives, ANYTHING. But these poor girls are stuck. So what do they do? They find the internet.

It's ingenius, really. They can find their validation without having to make the long, futile trek out from under a rock to the Big City. Thousands of people they would never consider getting naked with hang on their every word for a few minutes, just like in real life out here. It's the exact same thing. Hot girl in LA walks into a club, everyone gives a shit about her for a few minutes simply by virtue of her being hot. Hot girl on the internet gets on the AIM or the Livechat or whatever, EXACT SAME DEAL. It's not about reality, it's about attention. And these attention whores are finally getting their due.

Before the internet, these femmes were doomed to never get this sort of large-scale approval. They were stuck with the eternal "Am I really hot? AM I?!" guessing game, which they probably nagged every person around them with until they died in a trailer park. Now I have to wonder. Has this changed the mindset of the average yokel? Since these girls are now halfway to being "Legitimately Hot", do they now think they're big league or some nonsense? Do they prance around with their noses in the air as though anyone gave a damn? I've gotta know.

So, I'm thinking I'll do an essay on this. I'm gonna contact these web-harlots, their friends, the whole shebang. I have to KNOW. Or I'll drink a lot, clean the kitchen and pass out. That'll be fun too. Either way I'll keep you posted.


PS: AToxicKiss and dspda are frickin' smokin'. Do yourself a favour and hit it up.

Current Mood: curious
2:38 pm
Wal-Mart hates Fags.
I was listening to the radio today (97.1, KLSX, FM talk radio, see fmtalki.com for details!), and they were discussing photo developer policies, and how certain companies won't develop things they deem "obscene". So, this woman calls up and says (in a nutshell) she shot a roll of her New Year's party, and some of the shots were of her kissing her girlfriend. Not with a bunch of tongue or anything, not topless, just the way one person kisses their other in the spirit of fun. She goes to get them developed, and a couple of shots are missing. So she thinks "Hm, wot's all this then?", goes back to the Wal-Mart and asks them what's up with that. They say "Yeah, Wal-Mart deems photos of two women kissing as offensive, so we had to rip up the pictures and destroy the negatives". Yeah, fuck you too.

I don't really have anything to add to that, except this. Well, because it's equally screwed up:

Yeah, thanks white America. I'll be fucking your daughter now.


Current Mood: Exasperated
Sunday, April 11th, 2004
7:04 pm
Lazy bitches!
I just caught my dog doing the laziest shit ever. EVER. Lazier than when I laid on the floor for two days (yes, that really happened).

I walked into the kitchen, and she was lying on the floor, leaning against the wall, with her head half in her food bowl. Crunching away. STAND UP YOU LAZY TWAT!

Haha, it was pretty damn funny though. Lazy ass dog.

N - Also: Watched Groundhog Day for the umpteenth time today. Never gets old.

Current Mood: amused
Saturday, April 10th, 2004
3:07 am
Is Fucking so Fucking Relevant?
I've come home without any of the birds I danced wiv this evenin'. Why is this? They were alright. One of them was even rather tall, and gave me a kiss (which I totally didn't see coming, drunk as I am/was). But I just don't want to be focking bothered. I could shag 'em for a bit, then I'd just be THERE. Fock at nonsense, I've no business making naked small-talk. It doesn't even seem wery worf it anymore.

Oh, right, wot brought vis on? All of my (useless, I'm dumping the focking rolodex) friends were out of town, sorta busy, or just focking lame-os, so I rolled up to Carbon solo to 'ave a quick drink afore I went straight home at tennish, which turned into drunken goodbyes and cabbing at three-thirty. Sucker for adventure, this one.

I bought the tall bird a drink, I hope she didn't think I was trying to sleep with her. That would be awkward. I was just being frivolous with my monies. Sheeit, it's Friday and I'm dancing with a bird that comes higher than my navel. That's enough to get anyone in a good mood.

Negro though I be, I'll make with the confessionness. I don't dance for squat. Evidently, though, there's a correction to be made. I don't dance SOBER. It seems the more I drink the more absurd and hypnotic my footwork gets. My natural negro rhythm (we all feel it, some just canna manifest it properly in public) keeps me from making an ass of myself in pleasant company, but generally I don't make way to the floor unless there's a damn good reason. Well, a trio of good-looking birds I've never met before (thanks Girl#G for the introduce!) and 7-10 Kuro-size glasses is reason enough for anyone. Bugger. I cut a rug like you never saw. Now I've two nights and six reasons to hit the Carbon more often than I oughtta. Good job boys.

Girl #1 seems to be Awol, and the one that preceded her (inactivity) is MIA. I prolly shouldn't dwell on such things, but I'm a sucker for closure. I'll have to sweet-talk the Thursday DJ into calling her up (#1's his cousin, don'tcha know) and maybe we'll cross again. The one afore can eat a dick really, I just don't like wondering. No hanging chads in MY jurisdiction.

Also: I think I'll go to Egypt sometime toward the end of the year. It just seems interesting. Write that down.

N - We all smile. we all sing.

Current Mood: pensive
Thursday, April 8th, 2004
6:21 pm
What exactly do Normal people... do?
So I'm bored. Again. Just bored out of my skull. Like Billie Joe says, "When masturbation's lost its fun, you're fucking breakin'". This is like the rock bottom of entertainment.

What the hell do regular people DO with their time? This puzzles me constantly. I just don't understand. In an ideal scenario, I'd like to do a lot of drugs (see Interest #2) and play Monopoly all night with a bunch of good looking people I just met. No, really. But that's not the sort of thing you can pay a guy to wear a sandwich board and advertise, and even if I did I'm not sure what sort of jigs it would attract. I'll keep it in mind for later, though.

Everyone else, what do they do? I'm thoroughly perplexed by this. People have hours and hours to get rid of before they can take a nap and get to the next day. What the hell are they filling up all this time with? Do they go to the movies? Do they sit around in bar after bar?

N - I don't think I'll ever understand.

Current Mood: bored
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